I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
