I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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