dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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