i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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