Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
