quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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