Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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