My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just gargled with NyQuil
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize