using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
