it wasn't lemon gatorade
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
