At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
