I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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