Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize