remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
