i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Randomize
