She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
i need some magic done to my vagina
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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