you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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