she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
