Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
