with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
