i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
