so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize