it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
