i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
