Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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