At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
