Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
