We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
