my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
