No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize