So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
no, he came in my armpit
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
