i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
