just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
