I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
