so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
