sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
