sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
