Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
