They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
