..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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