id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my shit smells like andre
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
