That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
