Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize