OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
