Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
