WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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