He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
