Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
