return my video game
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
