Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
