If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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