Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
