when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
