Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
