Nicole vs. Life
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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