eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
