Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I supernannyed him into submission
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
