Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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