my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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