when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
