do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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