Can Purell be used as lube?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
