she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
