YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He better not be in your backpack
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
