The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
