this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
