Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
