You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
