Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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