i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
