This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
