i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
