we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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