Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
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