we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
