I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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