My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
