I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
