google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
