Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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